Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
