I have demons in me.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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