Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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