Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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