so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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