Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
