I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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