I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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