we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
