Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
