Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
