..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
