just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
