high people should be assigned attendants
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize