I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
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Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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