he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We named our party play list daddy issues
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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