One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
