Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Alive.
So much puke
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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