Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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