Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
