first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
