Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i think i have herpe
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened