Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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