its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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