everyone is single if you try hard enough
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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