Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
