The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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