Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
