I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
