Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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