Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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