My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize