We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
