love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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