doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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