Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine

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  (248): i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine http://tfl.nu/gbjn
  Replies (4) Good night (1456) Bad night (588)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.

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  (803): so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points. http://tfl.nu/u3st
  Replies (51) Good night (5220) Bad night (1005)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.

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  (443): i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it. http://tfl.nu/j4pq
  Replies (10) Good night (1308) Bad night (4679)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.

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  (850): tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff. http://tfl.nu/0w18
  Replies (9) Good night (3711) Bad night (739)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  we're making bets on your personal life

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  (603): we're making bets on your personal life http://tfl.nu/b50k
  Replies (14) Good night (4134) Bad night (1217)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".

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  (910): After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could". http://tfl.nu/pxbj
  Replies (22) Good night (8199) Bad night (1912)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.

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  (205): I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that. http://tfl.nu/zu4z
  Replies (9) Good night (1153) Bad night (2441)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.

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  (928): I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad. http://tfl.nu/59qz
  Replies (26) Good night (886) Bad night (1801)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.

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  (719): I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm. http://tfl.nu/n4fu
  Replies (13) Good night (1494) Bad night (1306)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.

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  (856): After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/r983
  Replies (0) Good night (1745) Bad night (670)
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  (858): View more from California

  I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."

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  (858): I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave." http://tfl.nu/gasm
  Replies (14) Good night (1543) Bad night (640)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.

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  (713): My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them. http://tfl.nu/xfe6
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (357)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  that happened

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  (508): Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing? (603): that happened http://tfl.nu/dxuy
  Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (464)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So what are you going to be for halloween?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.

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  (425): So what are you going to be for halloween? (503): A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus. http://tfl.nu/q6dw
  Replies (2) Good night (1549) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.

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  (630): Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into. http://tfl.nu/ua4k
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (277)

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