Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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  (303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2
  Replies (12) Good night (843) Bad night (4673)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.

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  (732): a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart. http://tfl.nu/8pw6
  Replies (6) Good night (2939) Bad night (868)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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  (503): I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team http://tfl.nu/ke7v
  Replies (42) Good night (6089) Bad night (995)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.

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  (+32): Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello. http://tfl.nu/agdc
  Replies (55) Good night (7061) Bad night (1486)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name

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  (860): so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name http://tfl.nu/f3l4
  Replies (26) Good night (796) Bad night (8603)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  How did your new apartment party go last night?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.

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  (812): How did your new apartment party go last night? (219): I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in. http://tfl.nu/upa6
  Replies (3) Good night (3912) Bad night (840)
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  (585): View more from New York

  If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.

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  (585): If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat. http://tfl.nu/1cgn
  Replies (33) Good night (2982) Bad night (4473)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?

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  (585): I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei? http://tfl.nu/dlk1
  Replies (22) Good night (3537) Bad night (988)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol

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  (910): can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol http://tfl.nu/846v
  Replies (5) Good night (2238) Bad night (1204)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Why are you speaking in third person?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.

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  (902): Why are you speaking in third person? (1-902): Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore. http://tfl.nu/1fh5
  Replies (5) Good night (3288) Bad night (749)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by

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  (517): Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity. (517): We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by http://tfl.nu/0fvy
  Replies (9) Good night (3031) Bad night (831)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.

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  (561): I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk. http://tfl.nu/i2nj
  Replies (3) Good night (995) Bad night (461)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.

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  (516): Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper. http://tfl.nu/j9dy
  Replies (7) Good night (1635) Bad night (539)
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  (+01): View more from

  I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom

  (1+01): View more from

  your the Dr. Phil in my life

  (+01): View more from

  Today is an unchanging day

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  (+01): I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom (1+01): your the Dr. Phil in my life (+01): Today is an unchanging day http://tfl.nu/6nwn
  Replies (1) Good night (947) Bad night (409)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"

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  (250): I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast" http://tfl.nu/5ifs
  Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (225)

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