We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
