yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My pussy is not your playground.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
