D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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