scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
