he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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