small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
