No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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