Ambien. No doubt about it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
