wanna go halves on a baby?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
