I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
