So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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