My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
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well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
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note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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