i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
