NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
