i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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