I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
