Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
two words: eviction party
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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