he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize