Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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