C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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