she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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