new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize