The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
