Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
