Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.