Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.