The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in