so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME