My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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